Misplaced confidence.

This week, I've been really challenged about something. Have you ever had a week where the same thing just keeps coming up again and again and you start to question whether it's a coincidence? It's been a bit like that.

Let me explain.

At church on Sunday, 4 people got baptised. Something I learnt - I LOVE BAPTISMS. I love hearing how God works in people's lives and love watching them declare it publicly - so great! After this happened, there was inevitably a talk which was all about the idea that Jesus' death was pointless if we aren't justified by it.

 If you're a bit new to all this God stuff, Christians believe that we, as people, can't do anything ourselves to be right with God since we've all sinned (messed up/done stuff that we know is not good etc.) and because God is just and holy, this separates us from Him. However, because He loves us SO much and desires to know us closely, He sent Jesus to die for us so that we can be restored and can walk in relationship with God. That's the main difference, I guess, between Christianity and other religions which so often demand that their followers conform to a certain set of rules in order to be accepted. Pretty cool huh? 

Anyway, this talk and some of the stuff that was said has really stuck in my head the last few days and I've been thinking it through a bit. Also, the daily devotion emails that come to my phone everyday at some ridiculous time in the early hours of the morning (don't ask me why it comes so early!?) have been talking about similar things. Strange right? Or not.

The thing that's been getting me this week though isn't whether I believe that Jesus has justified me and made me right with God (because I definitely do!) but whether this is actually reflected in how I live?

On Wednesday night, at Hungry (our church's student small group), we looked at Philippians 3:1 -11. In that bit of the Bible it says that we shouldn't place our confidence in anything else but Jesus and should consider everything else in our lives as rubbish compared to knowing Him. The word that really fascinated me in all this was the word 'safeguard'. To give this context, in Phillipians, Paul starts this bit my explaining how the idea of prizing nothing but Jesus is actually a safeguard for  us. I started to think about that word and realised (as Ruth pointed out) that the only time that I ever use it is when talking about protecting young people and children/CRBs! Maybe then, God knows that when we place our confidence in other stuff that isn't Him, it can harm us, hence why He says this stuff to protect us?

The problem for me though is that I don't always place my confidence in Jesus. You see, I love many things -- Sprinkles ice cream, good music and onesies to name a few -- but one thing I really love is relationships. Nah, I'm not talking mushy smushy rom - com boy girl shizz (though I'm not totally opposed!) but friendships with people in general. I know that sometimes I base my confidence in them - when I percieve them to be going really well, I feel confident. When I don't...well I feel pants. Also, sometimes I beat myself up for not being where I percieve I should be with God or for failing Him.

So now I've convinced you that I'm an over - thinking, over - analysing 20 year old Sociology student, what did I learn from this?!

I learnt that this kind of thinking is religion (Jesus wasn't a massive fan of 'religious' people in the Bible) and arrogantly presumes that we could ever do anything to make ourselves right with God. I learnt that when I put my confidence in stuff that isn't Jesus, life gets a little bit shaky. That's why I'm so glad to be able to say that

'My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness'

and to, once again, learn what it looks like to live like that.

Much love,

Rhi x


Picture of the post...

So, the momentum to take pictures everyday has waned a bit this last month and some of my 'quick, I need to take a picture' snaps have made my life look ever so dull (it's not, I assure you). :P Anyway, here's the cute campus gardens that I finally got to the other day...



Hope that this month is wonderful for you! xx

What a story.

One of the many highlights of my birthday this year was seeing The Mark Drama performed at uni. What basically happened was that the Gospel of Mark was retold through improvised drama over 90 minutes. The cast had us sit in a circle whilst they acted around us, complete with many laughs and jokes as they showed the lives and behaviour of disciples called to follow the man who claimed to be God. The performance itself was so exciting but also incredibly moving and I would totally recommend it to anyone!

But it was more than just a great piece of drama.

I went into the performance thinking that I knew what to expect. My Bible knowledge is far from perfect but I felt like I'd recognise most of the key parts of Jesus' story. And, fair play, I did. However, I loved the bits that made me think and there were a couple of 'Eureka' moments where I suddenly understood something I'd read in a new way. When it got to the portrayal of Jesus' death, the whole room watched in silence as the story unfolded. During parts of it, I wanted to yell 'Stop' and some of it was pretty uncomfortable. It struck me that I was reacting in such a way to a narrative that I know so well. If I've learnt anything this week, it's been a reminder that this story that we call the Gospel never gets old - it's always wonderful, it always challenges and it always speaks. If you've never heard this story, then I reckon you should - go see the Mark Drama in March or pick up the Bible and give it a chance - what have you got to lose?

In other news, Sprinkles ice cream parlour is amazing, especially when you go with great friends!...



Hope that your February is going fabulously,

Love Rhi xx

Reading that book called the Bible.

At the beginning of this year, I tentatively told myself that I'd blog more frequently  then got bogged down with revision and forgot all about it! Yes, I'm still revising but I've decided (in a bid to get away from all things sociological for a bit!) to write 2013's first post :)

Recently, I've been having reading some of David Platt's stuff on Bible reading which is well worth a look if you get the chance! One of the best quotes that he said (in my opinion) was that 'What you read in the Bible can never mean now what it never meant then'. Now this may just be me...but I realised that, so often, when I go to the Bible, I start from a place which basically says 'What does this mean for me and what am I going to do as a result?'. I'm not saying that this isn't great because obviously you're not supposed to just read the Bible and then get back to your life without letting it impact you. But what he said challenged me. What he was getting at was that the Bible was never primarily written just for us - it was written for generations of God's people and that we so often misinterpret and misunderstand Scripture because we don't recognise that fact. It all goes back to that word again - context! As I said, I've been giving this some head space recently...here's the link to Platt if you want it ---> http://www.radical.net/media/schurch/series_list/?id=53

In other news, as Facebook may have already hinted at, I'm involved in Text a Toastie on campus which is just such a great way to begin conversations about faith/God/zombie apocalypses/whatever else anyone wants to ask about (and I'm not just saying that because food is involved!). I love it - it challenges me to think about questions that I don't always consider and has naturally expanded my cooking repertoire :P Proud to say that no horsemeat is used in the making of our toasties!

Also, I'm doing Project 365 this year (taking a picture every day) so thought I'd do a photo of the post. Just before I left for uni, I finally caught up with the first Lord of the Rings (after much disbelief from certain people that I'd never seen it!) and naturally this needed photographic evidence!




Much love!

Rhi x

Praising my Jehovah Jireh.

Recently, at a CU meeting that I went to, someone said that 'one of the really important things about our struggles is our choice to point to the glory of God through them'. It is for that reason that I'm writing this. To be honest, I've never really been a fan of admitting that I'm struggling (not really sure that anyone is a fan of this!) and, for such a long time, I've had an 'I'm fine' mentality. I find it really hard to admit when things aren't going well and the whole openness thing in general (probz a pride thing!) but I really feel that God has been challenging this in me over the last few months. So here goes...

When I got to uni, I LOVED it! I mean, me and partying to cheesy pop in Europe's worst night club (sooooo good!) go together like Ant and Dec, right?! Seriously though, I loved Freshers and the great times we had as well as getting to know the awesome people who occupy the ground floor of Monte Block C (aka halls!). A few weeks later though, it wasn't so great! I was feeling really homesick and had started to wake up feeling pointlessly anxious. I understood neither of these things - firstly, I've lived away from home before and whilst I can worry like the best of them if I let myself, I didn't get the whole anxiousness thing! Also, I started to doubt if I even liked my course and whether or not I should spend 3 years studying it. Times were not too amazing! If you were someone that I spoke to, cried over or confided in - thank you so much!! I am SO grateful for you.

Anyway...today. About a month after all of this kicked off, I am in such a different place. Sure, I don't always love my degree and yeah, sometimes I do really miss home and Cardiff! However, I have a new sense of peace about life in general and the Lord has surrounded me with a great group of Christian friends (we just put down a deposit for a house together for next year - wooo!). What's more, I've learnt so much about dependency on Him. I work in a nursery and am kinda exposed by a need for dependency - so often, I walk into a room where there are a bunch of screaming kids who realise that their parents are no longer around and are crying out for a cuddle and some reassurance! Over the last few weeks, I've had to really live in His strength and trust in His promises because, really, I just haven't been able to do it on my own. But there's no better place to be, right? He's brought me to a place where I pray more and spend more time with Him and none of this would have happened if I was still on a Fresher's high (not literally, just to clarify!). Above all, it's not really about my struggles or weaknesses but His faithfulness, His peace and His unfailing love. And for that, I'm praising my Jehovah Jireh.

Some verses that have really struck me recently are from Jeremiah - just thought I'd share!

Jeremiah 29: 7:

'Work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you.... Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.'

In other news, like I said, I work at a nursery. There are way too many cute stories but one little guy routinely follows me around with arms outstretched saying 'cuddles'... so lush :) Also, I'm SO excited to go home this weekend to celebrate 18 years of the existence of Bex!! Nearly as excited as I am for S Club 2(?!)'s upcoming club night in Southampton!! Childhood about to be relived!! :P

Anyway, thanks for reading - sooooooo grateful for you :)

Rhi xx

E.G.O or G.O.D?

I wrote this blog last night at some stupid time but decided that I wasn't going to post it, mainly because I am genuinely rubbish at doing the whole 'open and vulnerable' thing. However, some stuff was said today in training about some of what I've blogged about so I've decided that it should become public. Enjoy!

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Today has been crazy busy and it's getting pretty late (or early depending on how you see it!!)

But I feel a bit of a blog coming on...I hope you don't mind :) 

As you may know, we are fast approaching the end of our internship!! Right now, it all feels a little bit surreal  but I'm kind of becoming used to the fact that the next few weeks are going to be a bit emotional because, let's be real, it's hard to say goodbye to people who have invested in you and loved you so deeply as the people at Glenwood have. As someone said to me today though, 'new seasons, Rhi, new seasons'.

But here's the thing...there are days when I just don't want to go to uni. Today has been one of those days. Weirdly, uni has never really excited me. Now, before you argue that three years of exams, assignments and hard work never excites anyone, let me explain. So many of the people I went to school with couldn't wait for uni and all that it had to offer but I've always been pretty unexcited about it all. Now don't get me wrong, I'm really looking forward to meeting new people, getting plugged in to a local church, making new friends/ hanging out and even the odd bit of partying (coz let's face it, I love a good party!!). Sometimes, however, the prospect of another three years in education doesn't seem like a load of fun and games.

What's more, if I'm totally honest, I'm a little bit scared about going to uni. Part of me wonders if I'll really be able to live out the stuff that I've learnt this year. The year before this one wasn't all that great - what if my life reverts back to that place again? What if I fail to sustain the closeness that I've had with God at different points over the last year? What if?

Earlier, I came to realise that there is a problem with these thoughts. A one - letter problem. I. So often, we as humans love to think that our lives are dependant on us. I am probably the biggest culprit of this. We toss and turn and keep naively thinking that we need to sustain ourselves and our relationship with God. Well, at least I do. Today, I was reminded though that only God is our strength and it is Him that is in control. I love the fact that in Isaiah 40, it states that youth WILL get tired but that God will make those who trust Him soar on wings like eagles. When I hit a dry patch or face something difficult, it's hard but I love the fact that it isn't a surprise to God, that He can pick us back up and cause us to rise again if we trust Him. The thing is, by relying on my own efforts and abilities, I'm playing into the hands of something that I really want to avoid at all costs; ego. It's  a constant challenge to trust God with your future but I guess today, I was reminded that you either trust your ego or God and the question always is 'which is it to be?'. 

Today, this is my prayer:

Be the fire in my heart

Be the wind in these sails

Be the reason that I live

Jesus, Jesus. 

Thanks for reading - love all round!!

Rhi xx

Welsh summer and other news

I feel like I really need to blog. Not for any particular reason but I guess I haven't posted in a while and so much has happened recently. For one, a rare thing has occured in the UK in the past week...it's been properly sunny! Being outside over the last few days has been so lush and I'm so grateful that we've experienced this weather, not just to show Jords and Aspyn that the sun does actually exist in the UK(!), but because I love seeing everyone outside chilling and having a laugh together plus it's been a perfect time to get a tan (allbeit that mine at the moment is more fake than real...God bless Home Bargains!).

Recently, the interns, plus the Glenwood youth, were involved in the Ignite Hope weekend; an event which is all about social action and expressing God's love to the local community. It was the responsibility of the interns to plan all of the social action projects that were to take place in Llanedeyrn (where Glenwood is based) and we organised projects such as a car wash, a mass baking extravaganza and a Funday for everybody to attend. I was totally blown away at how many people actually turned out for the Funday - 400 in total - and that afternoon was so great, as it united the community and it seemed that people from Llanedeyrn were genuinely comfortable with being in the church. Winner! What's more, I loved getting to spend more time with the youth and to see them grow in confidence when chatting with members of the community of Llanedeyrn. Favourite story of the weekend --> several of the youth had been prayer walking (you guessed it...walking and praying) around the estate and had been asked to pray for a guy to win the lottery. They saw him the next day and he had won £3.50! I love how God cares about these seemingly little things in our lives and I am so super proud of both the other interns and the young people who served so amazingly. Fancy washing the badger anyone...? :P

Something that has blessed me way beyond what I ever expected recently has been mentoring. For a couple of months now, I have been mentoring one of the girls in the older youth and when it was first mentioned, I was so excited as this is something that I have wanted to do for such a long time. We've met a few times now and initially, I was really over - protective of it, wrongly feeling that what got discussed in these meetings was all down to me and that I had to be a 'super - mentor' and ensure that it was really great and fruitful for both of us. In true Rhi - style, I over -analysed and was concerned that it just wasn't clicking between us. However, the last few times that we've met, I have seriously had to resist the urge to have a massive worship rave at the bus stop whist waiting to go home. The last few meetings have just felt so much more natural and open between us and I know that this was since I made the decision to more intentionally pray about our meetings together and let God do the rest. The other day, I totally got reminded about how powerful testimonies are when we were both sharing our stories with each other. After I had finished talking, my mentee was like 'You know what you were just saying about that...I feel the same way now'. This was so great and I am so in love with the way that God uses us, even when we feel so inadequate, and I've been really challenged recently to not be overly analytical about stuff that I'm involved in because, at the end of the day, if God's been involved in it and it's in His hands, who am I to say that it went badly? If you've got a spare prayer going, I'd really appreciate it if you could pray that I'll have wisdom in the mentoring that I'm doing now and also maybe doing in the future and that I'll continue to trust God with it. Cheers :)

Without a doubt, the thing that we're all thinking about in the house at the moment is our plans for next year  and I am so excited for all the stuff that my housemates are talking about and planning, arguably more so than for my own plans! There are days when I'm really aware that I haven't got long left in Cardiff and that kind of saddens me, because I've had a great year here and I absolutely love the kids and young people that I've been priviledged to work with, not to mention the other interns. At other times, however, I strongly feel that it is so right for me to move to Southampton next year and I know that it is going to be so much fun!! For one, if I had applied this year for the course that I will be doing, I wouldn't have been accepted because they have put the entry grades up and I really feel that I'm on this course for a reason. It's kinda funny that I'm actually not qualified to go to Southampton, especially as one of the main aims of Sixth Form is to get the right grades for uni but I know that God is bigger than UCAS and I'm more than okay with that and am so excited for what next year holds.

I've seriously loved this weekend so much :) It's been spent soaking up sun and being with people which is always great. Also, on Wednesday, I'm seeing Mumford and Sons, possibly one of the greatest bands ever! I'm so excited and so grateful to Lucy for giving me her ticket when I didn't get one...it's going to be so sweeeeeeeet :D

Thanks to everybody who is supporting me and praying for me - it means so much :)

Rhi xx

Lead me to the truth

This last weekend was seriously amazing!


The interns, plus the Glenwood youth, were involved in the Ignite Hope weekend; an event which is all about social action and expressing God's love to the local community. It was the responsibility of the interns to plan all of the social action projects that were to take place in Llanedeyrn (where Glenwood is based) and we organised projects such as a car wash, a mass baking extravaganza and a Funday for everybody to attend. I was totally blown away at how many people actually turned out for the Funday - 400 in total - and that afternoon was so great, as it united the community and it seemed that people from Llanedeyrn were genuinely comfortable with being in the church. Winner! What's more, I loved getting to spend more time with the youth and to see them grow in confidence when chatting with members of the community of Llanedeyrn. Favourite story of the weekend --> several of the youth had been prayer walking (you guessed it...walking and praying) around the estate and had prayed for a guy to win the lottery. They saw him the next day and he had won £3.50! I love how God cares about these seemingly little things in our lives and I am so super proud of both the other interns and the young people who served so amazingly. Fancy washing the badger anyone...? :P

Recently, as part of our Leadership Academy, we had a session on our identity in Christ. Now, what was totally ironic about this was the fact that, over the last few weeks, I've really been struggling with this. For a long time, I have periodically felt really rubbish about myself and I am so aware that when I stress or freak out, the first thing I do is become self critical and overly sensitive. In the first two terms of my internship here in Cardiff, I rarely felt like this which was great and I totally thought that this was something that I'd grown out of. Then I came back after Easter. In the last few weeks, there have been times where I've felt really low and down about myself and my abilities. It's kinda sucked if I'm honest.

However, I'm learning something massive at the moment. So often we rely on our feelings and use them to dictate who we are and our identity but I have been totally challenged to make a sometimes difficult choice and to believe what God says about me. Memorising the Bible has never been the most appealing thing in the world to me  but I guess that I'm now realising how important it is to know truths about yourself when you're feeling rubbish - because let's face it, we need to decide to believe God and to trust Him with our self worth if we are to truly follow Him. My favourite at the moment in Isaiah 43 4 which says 'Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for your life because you are precious to me. You are honoured and I love you.' I've decided to keep learning Scripture because you can't beat what God has to say about you!

In other news, I'm seeing MUMFORD AND SONS(!) at the end of this month!! Massive thanks to Lucy who gave me her ticket after I couldn't get some for me and a friend - blessed me so much and cheered me up totally last weekend! Loves <3

Thanks for reading this and also to everyone that supports me and prays for me - much appreciated! Love to y'all ;) xx