Lent is always a strange time of year.
People left, right and centre are giving something up, hoping that they can see it through for the seemingly never - ending five or so weeks. Though I'm proud of myself for the week that I've survived without Facebook (!), I can't help thinking that my sacrifices are totally insignificant compared to Jesus' sacrifice for all of us. What's made me think recently is the ways that He limited Himself so much so that we would understand more of God and His kingdom. The craziness is that God still values our small, trivial sacrifices and I am so excited to celebrate (and this will sound cliched and kinda cheesy) the greatest ever love story over the next few weeks.
Over the last few months, there has been only one word that has grabbed my attention and challenged me to the core. Everything. In the first few weeks of our current module, this word disturbed me and shook me up because, deep down, I have known for ages that God hasn't had everything. My life as a Christian has always been so up and down- there have been times where everything is good and I'm spending time with God and trusting Him and there have been times where I just can't bring myself to spend time with God and have chosen to go my own way. This has happened for ages and for so long, I've known that this isn't what it means to live as a Christian. But how do I change?
Whilst everything can sometimes be one of the hardest words to think about in terms of relationship with God, sometimes, it's also the most freeing. When every part of your life belongs to Him, you can give Him the things you struggle with most and know that He is in control and that you have a choice to acknowledge that truth and surrender stuff to Him. What's more, you can give Him your future, knowing that He has perfect plans for your life. Harder, however, is realising that giving Him everything means re -thinking some of the stuff that's in your life and even letting go of it and choosing a new way. These are things that I'm thinking about and wrestling with at the moment - I'm nowhere near everything but I know this is a journey I'm on and I reckon it's gonna take a while.
The last few days have been difficult in terms of time with God. There's something in me that knows that I need to spend time with Him but I just can't be still or bring myself into that place to meet with God. To be honest, I'm feeling kind of numb and it's been times like these where I get lukewarm about faith and often get frustrated and go off on my own. This time, though I'm feeling so different. Sure, I don't understand this but I guess that's where everything comes in right? I'm choosing to give it to Him and trust that He gets it and will continue doing good work in me despite how I feel. (Phillipians 1:6)
Much love always,
Rhi xx
P.S. - American word of the post (because you totes need to be exposed to the awesome vocabulary used by Jords and Aspyn)
Presh - short for precious!
Example: Jordyn and Lucy are really presh
Love it!
Wednesday, 29 February 2012
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
...
Hello world (although that's perhaps slightly ambitious!) for the second time!!
Well, tonight is my last night of being 18...cry! This last year has been so great - what with Berlin, Soul Survivor/Hill House, starting the internship with several awesome people and general partying (coz let's face it...I do love a party!). Sure, there have been some tough times too but I guess that's the same for everyone and I'm so grateful that I survived (!) and that I was blessed in so many ways :) If you are reading this blog, it's very likely (in fact, probably certain) that you have been one of the blessings of being 18 - you're awesome and thank you :)
For me, the most amazing, challenging and life- changing moments of being 18 occured last summer. Being the organised, clerical type that I am (according to Mr Birkman!), by this time last year I'd planned to serve at two camps over the summer break - Hill House and Soul Survivor. What I hadn't anticipated was that I would be going to Soul Survivor alone, due to unforseen circumstances. The night I realised that I would this, I just remember totally freaking out!! Due to my total stubborness to not give up on things,however, I decided that I'd still be going though, in all honesty, I was pretty scared! Although, some parts of those five days were really hard, it's an experience I wouldn't swap for anything. For one, you end up going to loads of seminars and stuff when you're on your own and I learnt so much about God that I totally would have missed out on if I'd been surrounded by mates! The best though was God teaching me about His grace. There's something pretty scary about having to approach young people and start up a conversation (this isn't just what I like to do randomly for fun, this was what I was expected to do as part of my work on the Fringe team to engage with young people on the outskirts if the main event!) and I had to trust Him with things that I just couldn't handle on my own. Something of His passionate love for me became so alive in those five days and brought me to such a new place with Him and without that, I honestly don't think I'd be ready for the stuff that I'm currently being challenged by - the need to 'live a life worthy of the calling that I have recieved' (Ephesians 4:1). Lush times!
In more current internship - related news, life seems crazily busy but so exciting! I love the ministries that I get to be involved in and the new club that has recently started for junior age kids (Glub)has gotten off to a great start with loads of gunging and custard pies! Can't go wrong really :P What's more, we now have an intern family which seems to be getting more messed up by the day...I'm currently the gangster granny with numerous weird and wondeful children and grandchildren. Jeremy Kyle, here we come! Seriously though, I love spending time with the other interns and growing together - I just know the next six months are going to be so great :)
Thanks for all your prayers and support!
Much love
Rhi xx
PS - Did I mention it's my birthday...presents gratefully recieved :P
PPS - Please pray for Chloe, our awesome friend who has recently jetted off on some serious gap year travels! She's beautiful in so many ways - please pray that she has a safe and amazing trip! Ta :D
Well, tonight is my last night of being 18...cry! This last year has been so great - what with Berlin, Soul Survivor/Hill House, starting the internship with several awesome people and general partying (coz let's face it...I do love a party!). Sure, there have been some tough times too but I guess that's the same for everyone and I'm so grateful that I survived (!) and that I was blessed in so many ways :) If you are reading this blog, it's very likely (in fact, probably certain) that you have been one of the blessings of being 18 - you're awesome and thank you :)
For me, the most amazing, challenging and life- changing moments of being 18 occured last summer. Being the organised, clerical type that I am (according to Mr Birkman!), by this time last year I'd planned to serve at two camps over the summer break - Hill House and Soul Survivor. What I hadn't anticipated was that I would be going to Soul Survivor alone, due to unforseen circumstances. The night I realised that I would this, I just remember totally freaking out!! Due to my total stubborness to not give up on things,however, I decided that I'd still be going though, in all honesty, I was pretty scared! Although, some parts of those five days were really hard, it's an experience I wouldn't swap for anything. For one, you end up going to loads of seminars and stuff when you're on your own and I learnt so much about God that I totally would have missed out on if I'd been surrounded by mates! The best though was God teaching me about His grace. There's something pretty scary about having to approach young people and start up a conversation (this isn't just what I like to do randomly for fun, this was what I was expected to do as part of my work on the Fringe team to engage with young people on the outskirts if the main event!) and I had to trust Him with things that I just couldn't handle on my own. Something of His passionate love for me became so alive in those five days and brought me to such a new place with Him and without that, I honestly don't think I'd be ready for the stuff that I'm currently being challenged by - the need to 'live a life worthy of the calling that I have recieved' (Ephesians 4:1). Lush times!
In more current internship - related news, life seems crazily busy but so exciting! I love the ministries that I get to be involved in and the new club that has recently started for junior age kids (Glub)has gotten off to a great start with loads of gunging and custard pies! Can't go wrong really :P What's more, we now have an intern family which seems to be getting more messed up by the day...I'm currently the gangster granny with numerous weird and wondeful children and grandchildren. Jeremy Kyle, here we come! Seriously though, I love spending time with the other interns and growing together - I just know the next six months are going to be so great :)
Thanks for all your prayers and support!
Much love
Rhi xx
PS - Did I mention it's my birthday...presents gratefully recieved :P
PPS - Please pray for Chloe, our awesome friend who has recently jetted off on some serious gap year travels! She's beautiful in so many ways - please pray that she has a safe and amazing trip! Ta :D
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