DISCLAIMER - this blogpost is going to be based on something else I've read recently...in no way is this an original Ashford. (I feel the need to insert a reference...gosh uni, what have you done to me?)
For a while, I had ambitions to live in loads of different UK cities. Why the UK, I hear you ask. Why not somewhere that at least sees the sun every once in a while. Because actually, I quite like our strange, quirky little country despite rain, endless queues and the monstrosity that is Antiques Roadshow (sorry Mum.) Anyway. Ever since I moved to Cardiff nearly four years ago, I realised that I love cities. I love the busyness, the randomness and also kind of the anonymity of living in a city. And I wanted to experience as many of them as possible. If I'm really honest, I also didn't want to commit to just one place. What if I get bored? What if something goes wrong? What if people see me for who I really am? (well, that last one was deep!)
Last summer, I decided that I wasn't going to busy myself making loads of plans for the year after I graduate. I was going to wait. And I was going to go where God called me. Scary. I even told Him that, if I really had to, I'd stay in Southampton. Before you think I'm writing off such a major part of the south coast, Southampton has grown on me over my three years here (especially in the last six months) but it's been a bit up and down and I've just always ruled out settling here after uni. Despite my chat about lots of different cities, I would have likely emigrated back to the wonderful Welsh nation because I am unashamedly a bit obsessed. Rugby, sheep, welsh cakes, Gavin and Stacey, you name it.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, some stuff happened and I am deciding, God - willing, to stay in Southampton. I know - it shocked me too.
One of the things that I've been learning whilst making decisions is that we so often seek something we perceive to be so much better, so much flashier and so much more shiny than what we have now. If you just look around you, that's entrenched in our culture. Buy this. Wear that. Go there. Then you'll be sorted.
But it's so wrong. Because it makes you undervalue what you already have. When I started to look at what was around me in Southampton, I realised that I'm part of an amazing church, involved in a youth work that I care a lot about and surrounded by some brilliant people, both connected to church and not so much. Also, after being on placement last semester, I realised that I have some awesome opportunities in this city to do the pastorally (is that even a word?) school stuff that I love and maybe even get paid for the privilege. The other day, I watched a programme about excluded students and constantly fluctuated between a state of 'why would I ever want to do this?' to 'how can I not do this?'. I know it's going to be a challenge but I'm convinced that, whatever happens job wise, it's going to be okay. Even better, when you are following Jesus, you're on a constant adventure that's all about knowing Him better and making Him known. That last part sounded way cringier than I intended but it's the truth.
So if (and I know that's a big if) you want to take anything away from what I've learnt recently, it's that seeking something new isn't always the way forward. Sometimes, it's more important to take stock, look around, appreciate, invest in what you're already a part of and just keep going.
Rhi x
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