Playing the waiting game.

So I haven't blogged in a while - partly because I don't want to post randomly when I feel I haven't got much to say and partly because blogging sometimes scares me because I feel super exposed. Sorry!

Anyway, over the summer, I started to contemplate the very real fact that, in a year's time (less now!), I would no longer be a student. This kind of filled me with excitement (I'm so over writing essays!) and apprehension (that means I need to make some life decisions!). One thing I felt really challenged to do, however, was to spend some proper time with God before making any firm plans or decisions. If you know me at all, you'll know I like lists, knowing what's going on and generally being in control. I have friends though who are amazing at trusting God for the future and waiting on Him and I felt that I should give this a go and attempt to lean into God's plan for my life rather than busily going about creating my own which would be pants in comparison!

So.

This term, I've been trying to set aside some time every week to pray and wait on God. Before you think I'm super holy, you should know that much of this 'waiting' often ends up in contemplating what I'm having for dinner or who went out of last week's X Factor! But I'm giving it a go! I'm reading a book called 'A Beautiful Mess' by Danielle Strickland as a part of this. A bit like the person herself (whom I love), this book is a crazy mix of humour and godliness all in one! What this book is teaching me, though, is that we need to learn to be okay with the chaos e.g. the not knowing and embrace it, trusting that God makes beautiful things out of chaos (hint: creation) and that we can trust Him. Also, I definitely viewed this time wrongly as being a time where I'd get a clear answer from God about the future. What I'm actually learning is that it's not about going to God for answers like some cosmic Google search but actually it's about the waiting on God and the way that this dependence changes our relationship with Him that's the gamechanger and, after all, what we're really made for.

To be continued...