Recently, at a CU meeting that I went to, someone said that 'one of the really important things about our struggles is our choice to point to the glory of God through them'. It is for that reason that I'm writing this. To be honest, I've never really been a fan of admitting that I'm struggling (not really sure that anyone is a fan of this!) and, for such a long time, I've had an 'I'm fine' mentality. I find it really hard to admit when things aren't going well and the whole openness thing in general (probz a pride thing!) but I really feel that God has been challenging this in me over the last few months. So here goes...
When I got to uni, I LOVED it! I mean, me and partying to cheesy pop in Europe's worst night club (sooooo good!) go together like Ant and Dec, right?! Seriously though, I loved Freshers and the great times we had as well as getting to know the awesome people who occupy the ground floor of Monte Block C (aka halls!). A few weeks later though, it wasn't so great! I was feeling really homesick and had started to wake up feeling pointlessly anxious. I understood neither of these things - firstly, I've lived away from home before and whilst I can worry like the best of them if I let myself, I didn't get the whole anxiousness thing! Also, I started to doubt if I even liked my course and whether or not I should spend 3 years studying it. Times were not too amazing! If you were someone that I spoke to, cried over or confided in - thank you so much!! I am SO grateful for you.
Anyway...today. About a month after all of this kicked off, I am in such a different place. Sure, I don't always love my degree and yeah, sometimes I do really miss home and Cardiff! However, I have a new sense of peace about life in general and the Lord has surrounded me with a great group of Christian friends (we just put down a deposit for a house together for next year - wooo!). What's more, I've learnt so much about dependency on Him. I work in a nursery and am kinda exposed by a need for dependency - so often, I walk into a room where there are a bunch of screaming kids who realise that their parents are no longer around and are crying out for a cuddle and some reassurance! Over the last few weeks, I've had to really live in His strength and trust in His promises because, really, I just haven't been able to do it on my own. But there's no better place to be, right? He's brought me to a place where I pray more and spend more time with Him and none of this would have happened if I was still on a Fresher's high (not literally, just to clarify!). Above all, it's not really about my struggles or weaknesses but His faithfulness, His peace and His unfailing love. And for that, I'm praising my Jehovah Jireh.
Some verses that have really struck me recently are from Jeremiah - just thought I'd share!
Jeremiah 29: 7:
'Work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you.... Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.'
In other news, like I said, I work at a nursery. There are way too many cute stories but one little guy routinely follows me around with arms outstretched saying 'cuddles'... so lush :) Also, I'm SO excited to go home this weekend to celebrate 18 years of the existence of Bex!! Nearly as excited as I am for S Club 2(?!)'s upcoming club night in Southampton!! Childhood about to be relived!! :P
Anyway, thanks for reading - sooooooo grateful for you :)
Rhi xx
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